Do You Ask Your Spouse’s Permission…

DO You Ask Your Spouse's Permission
Whenever my friends ask me to go somewhere during my hubby’s non working hours, my answer is always “Let me ask Ray”. Most of my friends already understand the dynamic of my relationship and respect it, but a new friend responded “Why do you have to ask his permission?” I don’t think of it as asking permission but asking his opinion, being considerate and coordinating schedules.

Times I Do Ask My Spouse “Permission”

As I mentioned before I discuss with my hubby possible plans before I commit to them if they are during his non working hours. He may have plans for us that I am unaware of, he is big on surprises. I also discuss with my husband on purchases over $X.XX. For example I was out with a friend and stumbled upon a great deal on my favorite line of purses, I excused myself called the hubby up he agreed it was a deal I couldn’t pass up and I proceeded with my purchase. Especially during times like that he is great at helping me decide if I really need/want something, so I rarely have buyers remorse.

And then there are times when I am NOT coordinating or being considerate I am just straight up asking his permission. These times are when the choice could create friction in our marriage and are hot button issues for him. And I rather ask him if it’s okay given a particular set of circumstances than start a war, happy marriage 101 pick and choose your battles.
Happily Married

Times I Don’t Ask My Spouse For Permission

Of course I don’t feel the need to coordinate with my husband on everything I do, so there are times when I don’t. During his work hours I roam and go freely (winks). Also, because we both have a monthly “allowance” I am able to spend X amount of money freely as well. But even with that said I still enter scheduled outings/appointments on our shared calendar so he can be aware of my whereabouts.

Quote From The Husband When Asked Does Your Wife Need Permission TO Go Places?

No, we converse about it and then a decision is made. It’s not permission as much as it’s just us being on the same page.

Do you ask your spouse for permission to go places or making purchases?


  1. I don’t ask permission, but I make sure to coordinate with him. We are a team after all.

  2. Never. I will call him and say what’s going on at such and such time or date. If he says nothing, then I tell him what I will be doing so he doesn’t make future plans for the date or time. He does the same for me. After 18 years together, I think we’ve got a pretty good system worked out.
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  3. I am not married but when I have been in long term relationships I have checked with my guy to make sure he did not already have plans for us or if I thought he might have an issue with something. I think the word “permission” is the turn of. I think if you said let me make sure my hubby doesn’t already have plans for us or let me check in with hubby to make sure we are on the same financial page to spend $$$ it would not be an issue. I think when we say we are asking permission it raises the hairs on our necks because it is reminiscent of the times when women were viewed as property and unable to make decisions for themselves.

  4. Okay, you got my mind going on this one! I think this is a really legitimate question that enough couples don’t ask themselves. I think I shared this on every platform I’m on!
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  5. I always asked. My husband always told. 😉 Either was fine, but if I was told last minute, gah it sometimes really did upset my schedule. I think it’s kind to ask.

  6. Great post, really got me thinking! I do not ask permission but I definitely do run it by him so he is aware when I purchase a big ticket item.

  7. I think the language of “asking permission” puts a nasty taste in some folks’ mouths, but it’s really just effectively communicating, as you and your husband indicated, in my opinion. It’s funny, because I think my husband would teasingly say that he asks for my permission perhaps more so than I do. But the beauty of it all is the harmony that clear communication maintains in what is for me the centralized relationship for my family. Great post!

    • Thank you for your comments. Effective communication goes a long way in a relationship.

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