I Knew It
The day started out as abnormal as it ended, for one the hubby was home to monitor the installing of our new roof. Than I was fortunate enough to receive passes to pre screen Captain Phillips, which is an amazing movie definitely a must see. As I was driving home chatting with my hubby about how great the movie was, I heard a scream coming through the phone. And that is the exact moment”Mommy Guilt” set in. Rashad, the hubby, began to call to the children to see what was going on, but I immediately informed him in a oh so loving way that one of my baby was hurting and that he needed to go to him promptly. Can you sense the foreshadowing of a post named “Apologizing To Your Spouse…”. Although, I didn’t need to know the details I already knew what was wrong.
Broken Bones
Why Didn’t I Know Right Then?
At around 11:30 am Wednesday morning my eldest son Romee cried out, my youngest son and I went to him. Romee was laying on our super plush shag rug with a scooter lying beside him. He told me that his arm and foot hurt. Well I cuddled him until the tears dried up, while inspecting his foot and arm subtly moving them both around to make sure noting was BROKEN. All seemed well so I did as usual, gave him a cold pack to distract him from this temporary pain.
Why Didn’t I Listen?
The day went on we read a few books and after the first one he asked me if I would “turn the pages because his hand hurt a little bit.” I thought to myself oh he is really milking this so I tickled him and told him, “Sure I will turn the page for you King Romee.” We continued reading.
Why Didn’t I Take Him To The Doctor?
That same day as I was doing some pinning on Pinterest, he came over and casually told me “Mommy my hand still hurts.” So I stopped pinning as I thought this was his true objective and pretended to be a doctor. I even went so far as to remove the head scarf from my head and make him a sling for his arm. He thanked me for my services and then said “I need to go to a REAL doctor so they can do test.” I wasn’t shocked by this request because he loves his doctor and wants to go even if he stubs his toe.
Why Wasn’t I There?
Romee and Deakin were putting on their PJ’s preparing for bed at 9:30pm that night and Romee was trying to stand on the bench at the foot of his brothers bed and slipped. This is when he screamed. As I was in my car listening to Rashad trying to console my baby I became overwhelmed with emotions and upon getting off the phone with Rashad and agreeing that we would be going to the Emergency Room when I got home, I called my mama. Yes, I said I called my mama, at that moment I needed the one person who could calm me and understood what I was going through to talk me down so I could be on my A game by the time I reached my child and it worked. We got to the ER to hurry up and wait. 🙂 By 1:30 am Thursday morning we were armed with the news that he did indeed break his arm, had a temporary cast on it with pain medicine on stand by.
Healing
Romee’s is well on his way to recovery the next day we got him in to see a Children’s Orthopaedic’s (bone doctor) and got him a cast that will be with him for the next four weeks. Yet the mommy guilt remains, but I’m not going to continue to beat myself up over this. Instead I will learn from this experience and remain the good mommy I know that I am.
Share with us the time you experienced “Mommy/Daddy Guilt”.
I still can’t believe it. I am glad he is on the mend. Thanks for showing the process of getting a cast…all these years why did i think it was complex
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Thanks!!! I was thinking it was going to be complicated as well, but he was one within five minutes!
Hi, I read another account of something like this happening. While you are in the moment of realizing what happened it is hard to not feel guilty, but calling someone to calm you was a great step. You aren’t a doctor so there was no way you could have known how severely he was hurt. Our children do milk things and seek our attention in wild ways so that was a fair assessment of his needs.
I’m glad he’s on the mend! And hopefully you are, too.
Thanks Ella!Thank you for your kind words. He is a trooper and I am just happy he is back to his old self, minus the use one arm of course. 😉
Yolanda, we all experience the “mommy guilt” no matter if we are there in person when it happens or not. It’s a part of mommyhood. My mom still experiences it when I call her and I’m upset or hurt, the biggest one for her was when I had a miscarriage before I got pg with Z. My parents live in CA and I was living in NYC at the time. She said it felt like I was on another planet and physically hurt that she couldn’t get to me. Don’t be so hard on yourself. I deal with it too when something happens to them, but I try to focus on not that I wasn’t there when it happened but that I’m there for comfort after.
I’m very happy to hear that little man is on the mend. Give him some extra kisses and the Dynamic Duo say “Feel better!!”
awww poor sweetie! God bless him to heel without complication. I’ve had those “mommy guilt” moments as well, we do our best but inevitably we’ll sometimes miss the mark. He’ll be fine and so will you.
My son (12)hurt his side while at Campus clean up at school last weekend. He has been complaining about a pain for a while but he’s also been doing his nightly chin up or two and running around. He say’s his rib is broken, but I doubt it. I may be wrong; it won’t be the first or last time, either.
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Bless his heart glad he is looking good in the recovery aspect!
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gone to the doctor thinking that my child was seriously sick or hurt and it was nothing. And there was that one time my child was ill and I thought it was nothing. I don’t trust my own judgement most of the time especially because my kids are the biggest complainers – everything hurts and they’re very dramatic about it. So don’t feel guilty. It happens to us all!
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Oh poor Romee. Glad he’s mending now. Don’t beat yourself up. It happens to all of us.
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Glad he’s ok and seemed in great spirits at the hospital.
I remember getting so upset with A.J. when he wouldn’t eat his green beans at dinner.
Little did I know he had hand, foot, mouth and there were sores in his throat that made it hard for him to eat!
We spend the next week getting better and relieving his scabs and itching.
Hugs mama! Awwww, I can imagine how you felt when you heard your baby scream out in pain. There is nothing like it. Romee is such a big boy and handled things so well. I’m glad he is on the mend.
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